You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
