Plan B is the new Plan A
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
