therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
