On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
