I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
