dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize
