I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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