btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you would pick up someone in the library
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
