he wants to bone in the snuggie
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
