im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
