2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
