The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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