after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
