best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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