Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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