it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
