Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I want to fling myself into the sun
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
