Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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