we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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