we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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