Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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