The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
