Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
