Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize