youre lurking in front of me
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
