actually, I'm a sock model
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
