Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
