$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Randomize
