Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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