Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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