I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
