I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
