I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
