shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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