Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
