the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Acid is not a monday night drug
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
