before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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