I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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