i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
