How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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