Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just found puke in my bra..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
