first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
