i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
