tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you inspire me to be a worse person
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
