So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
