I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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