I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
