she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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