ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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