I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
