Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
