Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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