they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
