i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
