Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
