Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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