I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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