he puts the penis in happiness.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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