Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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